10 Rules For The Perfect Wake And Bake

A wake and bake is a coveted, almost sacred, weekend ritual among stoners.

Forget the first sip of a beer, your first cigarette of the day, there is nothing better after a long hard week of work than getting up the next day and having the perfect wake and bake.

10 Rules For The Perfect Wake And Bake

A whole day spent with relaxed muscles, where work is the last thing on your mind.

Yet, you may wonder what a ‘wake and bake’ means.

A wake and bake is when you get up and one of the first things you do that day is have a morning spliff or blunt, or even bowl of your favorite strain.

Yet, the wake and bake should be done with caution, do it wrong and you might just get back into bed and waste a potentially productive green day.

A set of rules should be followed in order to make sure that you have the best wake and bake possible and don’t comatose yourself at 9am, although this is only one problem to avoid.

Here’s our commandments for the perfect wake and bake to have a pleasant weekend.

Happy smoking!

Get That Dose Right!

As we mentioned, the last thing you want to do on a morning smoke is to give yourself a five-finger death punch of THC – this is going to send you straight to bed or maybe just make that ‘to do’ list non-existent.

What you want to avoid, and we are sure happens to smokers around the world every morning, is rolling that blunt before you have properly woken up and accidentally slapping a whole gram or more down into your joint or bowl.

We can regularly make this mistake when we are tired, we maybe just want to smoke and forget about measuring in our sleepy eyed state, only to result in more sleep due to an accidental slip of dosing measurements.

There’s an easy solution to this issue, that may be something you have never thought of before. But try rolling, or packing your bowl, the night before.

If you roll joints or blunts, you can sit and meticulously craft the perfect roll the night before while you watch TV, simply lay out a joint at your favorite smoking spot and all you have to do is light her up!

Don’t Speedball Yourself

Speedballing is a colloquial slang term for when someone takes heroin and cocaine at the same time, it combines the effects of an ‘upper’ with a ‘downer’ and can really send you out of whack.

We clearly aren’t going to be doing that in the morning, or ever, we are referring to something much more innocent.

Something we are sure people have done before is doing a wake and bake, but their coffee and weed hits them at the same time, inducing a similarly disorientating effect.

The easy way to avoid this is to maybe lay off the coffee until your weed has settled in, or vice versa.

Maybe have your coffee first and wait half an hour while you read the paper or roll your spliff, then go and smoke it after the caffeine has been absorbed into your body.

Alternatively, consider drinking some decaf or simply drinking something else while you smoke your joint.

Choose The Right Strain!

Similar to the last rule, picking the right strain is an important part of a wake and bake, which is something you may only learn with experience.

Pick something too indica heavy and as we mentioned you might be on a one way trip straight back into bed.

Something like Grandaddy Purp might be a little too sleep-focused for a wake and bake bowl. But it depends on what you want to do with your Saturday.

The flip side of this is smoking something too sativa heavy like an Amnesia Haze and sending yourself into a paranoid tiff while you stare at the to-do list, or might just make you go to such an impulsive state that you don’t get anything on your to-do list done because you decided to organize your kitchen cabinets.

This is why hybrids exist, something a little of both, maybe more on the creative side of sativa, while having enough indica to relax that guilty anxiety of smoking so early.

Something like Jack Herrer would be ideal.

Make Sure You Have Your Breakfast Planned Out

We don’t know about you, but we’re always hungry as soon as we wake up, whether we have woken and baked or not.

Waking and baking when you have no breakfast food in the house could be a call for disaster, they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day after all.

Make sure you have those bacon and eggs in for the morning, so you can easily make some food, safely as well, soon after those munchies kick in.

10 Rules For The Perfect Wake And Bake

We’ve heard stories of the wake and bake munchies kicking in, and before you know it, you’re eating an ice cream sandwich for breakfast.

Although, perhaps most pertinently, make sure you do have some breakfast.

Smoking and going about your day on an empty stomach is never going to work well, you may as well go back to bed.

Remember What Time It Is

Yeah, doing a wake and bake is seriously fun, but being acute smoking this early may make you look a little sus.

It’s important that you realize what time you are smoking and be aware of it, that’s all.

Your neighbors might have their kids round, or they may just be starting their day too, be considerate of whether they would be bothered by your free smoke drifting across their lawn at 9AM.

Write A To-Do List

We’ve mentioned this in passing already, but a to-do list can be really helpful when you want to wake and bake but remain productive.

Maybe you have some spring-cleaning in order, or just a list of gardening activities to do, they may be more enjoyable when you are baked, just make sure you have the list to stay on track.

More importantly, make sure you write this the day before, or more importantly, just don’t write it when you are stoned.

This will help you stay on track and take that planning element out of your day, all you have to do is action your plan!

Make Sure You Are Prepared For That Day

While to-do lists are super helpful and important, you have to prepare for the unlikely too.

This means making sure you know if any deliveries that might arrive that day, any neighbors who may drop by, whether you have forgotten about that dinner date you planned with your friend.

You want to make sure that your day is fairly free, or in the worst case that you are prepared for the events that you know will occur.

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!

This should be a rule to follow for any day, whether you are smoking marijuana or not. Especially if you are in the southern states of the US or just a hot country.

Sometimes in the summer months, the sun is already blaring out when you wake up for the wake and bake.

There’s nothing more dehydrating than smoking a spliff after not drinking anything for ages, we’ve all been there, you go to wake and bake and forget to bring any liquid with you.

This is guaranteed dry mouth.

Even when you are drinking coffee, bring a nice big bottle of water for you too. Want to be really adult about your wake and bake?

Fill a big bottle of water with water and put it in the fridge the night before you plan to wake and bake.

There is nothing better on a hot morning than some cold water to refresh you. A bottle for you, and a bottle for the bong water, don’t mix them up!

Time Your Smoke To Become Incognito

Something you may not have ever considered before is the timing of your wake and bake.

One thing we suggest is to smoke before you brush your teeth and get dressed, but perhaps after you have a shower.

Yes, it’s still a wake and bake if you have a shower first.

This is strategic timing that will help you blend into normal society and walk to your coffee shop without stinking of the sticky icky.

In addition, showering before you smoke means you won’t lose the hazy high while in the shower, throwing a wet towel on any early morning recreation and potentially sobering you up.

Shower, without brushing your teeth, smoke, then get ready and dressed for the day and then brush your teeth after breakfast.

This means by the time you have eaten and smoked you are clean, minty fresh and wearing clothes you haven’t smoked in.

This is ideal for those who have plans in normal society but still want the water in the basement.

Don’t Fall Back Asleep!

Some have compared wake and baking to hitting the snooze button on your alarm, as they find they will fall back to sleep after smoking in the morning.

There are a few ways to avoid this.

Make a list, like we have already pointed out, when you wake up and see the list you will have the plan in your head and get some get up and go in your feet when you know what’s ahead.

Make your bed, and open bed is just an invitation to get back in, which is super easy to do on a weekend, no matter if you are baked or sober as a nun.

More importantly, undertake activities that get you outside and help you to be productive, when you have nothing to do, or you have loads of emails to do, you will just end up in your bed again.

Plan for a life outside your bedroom, and you will completely forget your comfy bed is there.

Perhaps more importantly, get a good night’s sleep the night before. If you wake up and you haven’t slept well and are craving sleep, you can bet that bowl is going to send you back to bed.

When you are well rested and ready for the day, the wake and bake doesn’t seem so naughty when you are productive.

Final Thoughts

As you can see, there are many obstacles and traps in your way when doing a wake and bake.

Hopefully these rules will help you avoid these obstacles, most of which are planning ahead to avoid going back to bed after you smoke, as well as avoiding the logistical issues a wake and bake presents.

Stay safe, hydrated, and make sure you are productive, and we guarantee you will enjoy your early morning smoking experience!

Tom Bowler